I should just stay away from pop music

Today I'd like to talk about the use of sexuality in pop culture, (and some side issues). My rant stemmed from listening to the lyrics of a recent Beyonce song, (no this is not my usual type of music, but nevertheless I heard it).

It's the song where she says 'if you like it then you should have put a ring on it'.

Of special note are these lyrics:
Decided to dip but now you wanna trip
Cuz another brother noticed me
I’m up on him, he up on me
Don’t pay him any attention
cried my tears, after three good years
Ya can’t be mad at me

Basically, unless I'm sorely mistaken, the gist of the song is that she's been with a given guy for three odd years, she got fed up with no marriage proposal so she started looking elsewhere. The message I hear is: 'you had three years to propose and you didn't, so it's your fault that I'm rubbing up on other guys'.

Come on now... I'll get to the issue of 'social expectation of marriage' later, but as far as I know, there is no time limit for marriage proposals, there are many relationships that go well beyond three years diamond ring free. Plus, I see no real difference between that and somone else saying: 'you had three years to spontaneously tell me you didn't want me to murder you with an axe and you didn't, so it's your fault that you're lying in tiny chopped up pieces on the floor', the obvious rebuttal being: 'how was I supposed to know that it was something I was supposed to do', (well, that would be your rebuttal if you weren't dead).

For all we know, our dumped fella may have been perfectly happy where he was, in a long term relationship with the girl of his dreams, just because no proposal was forthcoming doesn't mean he didn't want to be with her forever.

Which gets me back to the social expectation of marriage. We grow up to believe that everyone should get married, even fairytales glorify the institution. We live our whole lives being force-fed the idea that it should be everyone's goals to find their sole-mate, put a ring on their finger and 'claim them for life'. The reason people want to get married long before they've even met their partner' is because they grow up being indoctrinated with the idea of marriage by people who were themselves similarly indoctrinated.

So what if someone doesn't want to get married, but instead wants to live forever with the one they love, secure in the knowledge that their partner is staying with them by choice and not for fear of the legal ramifications of divorce (not saying that is the only reason married people stay together, however it may be a reason some marries linger long after their natural expiry date).

Whose to say that the guy in this song hasn't found his happy place, the perfect situation in which he has found his sole-mate and is comfortable in his life, when all of a sudden, the woman leaves, cheats and then blames it on him because he hadn't proposed yet.

Marriage is the choice for me, and in less than 12 months I will be, but I still respect the choices of those who decide that it is not for them.